If ever a café owner had too much on his plate, it was René Artois.

The genial host of Café René in Nouvion had to work for the French Resistance, conduct affairs with two amorous waitresses away from his wife, hide a couple of British airmen and conceal a priceless painting for a German colonel in a giant sausage.

Throw in a ruthless Gestapo officer, a German lieutenant who took a shine to him, a master of disguise who fooled nobody, a British spy posing as a gendarme who spoke appalling French, an extrovert Italian captain and an undertaker with designs on his wife, and it was no wonder that René consumed copious amounts of red wine in ’Allo ’Allo!

Jeremy Lloyd and David Croft first brought this hilarious Second World War spoof sitcom to the BBC with a pilot episode on December 30, 1982.

The first of nine series began in September 1984 and the programme continued until December 1992. Over a total of 85 episodes it built up a rapport with its audience by giving each character a distinctive catchphrase and weaving variations on the same series of jokes into the plot each time.

Now The Grayshott Stagers will bring the ’Allo ’Allo! play, also written by Lloyd and Croft, to Grayshott Village Hall from November 19 to 22 at 7.30pm.

It features all of the television characters, including René's tone-deaf singing wife Edith, Lieutenant Hubert Gruber with his little tank, the Gestapo officer Herr Otto Flick - who has to deal with the advances of Private Helga Geerhart - Michelle ‘of the Resistance’ Dubois, who will “say this only once”, and iconic ‘polusmon’ Officer Crabtree.

A Grayshott Stagers spokesperson said: “This uproarious comedy follows the adventures of the hapless café owner, René, in occupied France during the Second World War.

“He tries to balance staying on the good side of both the invading German forces, hiding for them the priceless portrait of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies, and the French Resistance, hiding British airmen for them. It makes it hard to run a successful café and have affairs in peace without getting shot!

“Directed by Buff Cooper, this show is packed full of memorable catchphrases, cultural clichés, physical humour and visual gags, along with a large slice of double entendres.

“You are sure to have a brilliant time at these performances, so book today so you don’t miss out on this joyful show - or you will be left echoing Captain Alberto Bertorelli, commander of the brave Italian forces, whose catchphrase is ‘What a mistake-a to make-a!’.”

The opening and closing performances have already sold out, with audience members attracted by the opportunity to watch the show with the hall set up like Café René while having the chance to enjoy some French food.

But standard theatre-style seating is available on November 20 and 21 - priced £14, with a ten per cent discount on orders of six or more tickets. To book visit https://grayshottstagers.littleboxoffice.com/browse